Yes, I really AM this happy:

My brain has started working again!  Hallelujah!!! and all I had to do was not sleep for a week!!!

Since my e-critique with The Champ, I have really felt at a loss.  I really wanted to compete in the humorous speech contest but felt like I had nothing to go with anymore.  I had put so much into it so soon that when the Champ burst my bubble (and I most graciously thank him for doing so) it took all the wind out of my sails.  I started to feel like I was getting too close to write anything of quality, make it funny and memorize it in time for the 19th.

I have been slogging away, trying at least 5 or 6 ideas (which I WILL be able to use in the future so definitely NOT a loss) but unable to develop them to my satisfaction.

Writer’s block?  Anxiety?  Who knows?  All I know is that I was starting to feel panicky.

I have had trouble sleeping at night, turning my brain over and over (and though I ordered it early, I thank GOD our curriculum hasn’t arrived in the mail yet so I don’t have to feel guilty about not starting SCHOOL yet) searching for the right thing.

Finally, this morning in the dark of my bedroom, sick of looking at the time (3:14 a.m.) being projected on to the ceiling, I threw the covers off and flew out of bed.

I had to write something.  I had to.  I can’t live like this.  I had to get this thing OUT OF MY HEAD so I could get other things IN!!!!!!!!!   It’s only Toastmasters for crying out loud!  Nobody’s DYIN’!!!!!!

So, I slogged.  yes, I slogged.  I really did SLOG.  Isn’t that a magnificently muddy word?  SLOG.  And a few jets of inspiration flew through my coffee-addled sleep-deprived brain.  It may not be that inspiring without coffee and with sleep, but I, for now, am satisfied that I have a foundation and a direction. (Up)


Español: Logo del sencillo Hallelujah de Paramore

Español: Logo del sencillo Hallelujah de Paramore (Photo credit: Wikipedia)