I hadn’t said my speech even once since the contest.  Didn’t really want to for a couple of days.   I just wanted to be for a couple of days.

Sunday morning my daughter and I went for a walk to the dock near our house.  We just sat on the dock, looking at the ocean, the mountains peppered with orange and green trees, unidentifiable creatures in the ocean clinging to the underside of the dock.  We talked, about nothing and everything.  We named all the things we were grateful for.  The list went on for a long time.  It was the nicest time I’d had with my girl in a while.  We should have stayed all afternoon but it was kind of chilly.

The rest of the day was strange.  I had the same kind of feeling I used to have after waking up from a bender.  Guilty.  Blank.  Embarrassed.  Deeply sad.  Even a little hopeless.

Just thinking about all the things I had written, where my head is, where my heart is.  What I’m going to do.  How it will affect my family and myself.

Today I prepared my house for dear friends who came for thanksgiving.  I cooked all day and my husband did all the dishes, bless his heart.   I had a wonderful time being with these people whom I love and hadn’t seen in far too long.

Near the end of the evening, Lloyd said, “why don’t you say your speech honey?”   Now one of these friends had seen last year’s humorous speech and she enthusiastically agreed.

So I did, and it was fun.

It was really fun making my friends laugh.   Especially the 11 year old boy.  🙂  Even though TWICE, I totally blanked and forgot the next lines.  I even got some good advice.

Lloyd is taking Meaghan to homeschool group today for me.  And then to singing lessons.  All day.  So I can have a little break and work on the Speech.  Can you see why I love him so much?

Powell River’s newest club, Toast to the Coast found a spot for me to give my speech tonight so I can get some feedback.

I don’t feel quite as sick to my stomach anymore and I’m hoping to have some fun.

One day at a time.

Weird, eh?

Today I’m going to go for a nice long run, a nice long prayer and a nice long ferry ride.

THANKS.

Thanksgiving Background

Thanksgiving Background (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Advertisements