Flower & pot

We buried our beloved cat Patchy today.

Meg and I bought flowers as Lloyd stayed with Patch for the last moments of her life.  He did the very same thing with his own father not 8 months ago.  He did for us what must be done.

My beautiful husband found a beautiful black boulder to mark Patchy’s grave in the front yard of the house we now own and will live in for a long time to come.  We brought her home, wrapped neatly and lovingly by the vet in the towel that my baby brother bought me the day he and I were both baptized in English Bay.

Meaghan asked if she could put Patchy in the grave and we let her.  I gave Patch one last kiss and handed her over to Meg who, with much effort, gently placed her in the deep grave.  I almost helped her, instinctively reached out but then quickly pulled back my hands as I sensed how important it was for her to do this important thing “on her own”.  Meg did for us what must be done.  We prayed together with sad hearts.

Lloyd covered her up and placed that massive monument overtop and Meaghan ‘decorated’ it with small stones and leaves.  She finally placed flowers on the stone and that was it.  One minute Patchy was alive and the next she wasn’t.

 

For the past week I have been completely out of the groove of our lives.  Meaghan and I have not done school for a WEEK.  I have never done this before.  I didn’t intend for this to happen but it has happened and it can’t continue.  We must  get back to work.  We have to do what must be done.  However, Meg is still having some medical issues that are not serious but are definitely troublesome to her and we still haven’t gotten a diagnosis.  It is affecting her life on a daily basis.  We have been to the doctor numerous times in the past month and that alone kills most of a day for us.

What needs to happen now is that I have to make changes in the way I choose to live my life or nothing is going to change ever.  Bottom line.  One of my favourite quotes that I used to have on my old computer was “The definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.  Certifiable.

I KNOW that I need to go to bed at a reasonable hour every night and get up at a reasonable hour every morning and yet I persist in indulging my night owl tendencies at the expense of my family, my health, my dreams.

If I want to be able to have ample time to school my daughter every day, get my prayer time in every day, get some exercise with Meg every day, get our business and home work done every day, get my Toastmasters work done every day AND train to be the World Champion, then I need to DO what must be done.  There’s nothing else FOR it.  More time is not going to magically going to appear on the clock.  I have to do what it takes if I want things to change and it is as simple as that.  My daughter deserves it if nothing else.  I know I am a better mother with enough rest.  I know I am a raving lunatic without.  Case closed.  Or it should be anyway.

There are many changes I need to make in my life but this is the most important because it affects SO many other things.

What I need is an accountability partner who will hold me to this.  I am putting this out there.  If anyone out there is interested in being this for me, I, and my entire family, would be indebted to you.  I have to do what must be done.  And I need some help doing it.  Thank you.  🙂  God bless.

 

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