So I’ve decided NOT to give a speech on Wednesday.  I need a break for now.  I know that I do.  I spent several hours last night writing but none of the things I wrote are things that I want to share right now.  I also can’t stand the thought of just slapping something together.  I probably worked harder on “JAWS -The Speech” up to Division level than I did on both speeches to District level last year.  I am beginning to appreciate what kind of work it takes to put together a memorable speech.  Slap dash ain’t gonna cut it for anyone.

Also, writing last night, writing very personal things, was so enjoyable.  Writing a speech is so different in that you have to use language in a very concise way.  There is a great satisfaction in figuring out how to say that same thing in less words but writing for self or for reading is so indulgent, weighty and satisfying.  I miss doing it.  In a way, I’m doing it here, but alas, you folks don’t get everything here.  I’m frequently weighing what to say here because of the medium and the message.  I also factor in people’s privacy.  My deadliest stuff goes in my personal journal where I am my messy, hopeful, haughty self.   I’ve always had BOOK in the back of my head.  For years.  In fact my dad told me once this year that he always thought that’s what I’d do.  (My dad has told me a lot of stuff this year now that I think of it.)  At the end of this year’s journey, on August 24, 2013, that will be the next step.  It will be TIME.  And it will be done.

Next up is:  I’ve got Darren LaCroix‘s “Create Your Keynote by Next Week”  sitting here but I have no intention of doing this in a week.  I just don’t work that way.  I’m analytical.  I like to examine things and understand them.  I can’t just DO them.  So I’m going to start the process and enjoy it.  And see what happens.

Also thinking about asking certain people if they are interested in coaching me.  Taking time with that too.  This needs to be thoughtfully and prayerfully done, methinks.

I will also be doing a clarity session with my Texas Toastmaster Micaela Pennell http://www.400daysto40.com next week.  I am ever so grateful for the gifts God brings into my life and the way in which it is done.  I know I am being loved.

I think this is the time to simply be Paula for a while.

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