I mentioned in my last post that I started to lose my voice a little while I was rehearsing for the Avery event.  Well, now I know why.  That was the beginning of the head cold from hell.  By Sunday afternoon, it was upon me and for the next 3 days I couldn’t think straight, my head was pounding and so full of snot.  Today I feel human again although it lingers.

I worked not a lick on my Speech all week except for a couple of hours last night.  I currently have 3 small stories in the speech tied together by similarity.  I love the stories and I like the spin I’ve put on them but they need to be tied together more intimately.  There is no more room to add so I must edit.  I’ll tell you, I was cursing Rich Hopkins’ name last night.  I almost feel like I am starting all over again.

But I have bigger fish to fry.

Today Meaghan asked me to watch Star Wars with her and I did.  But she wanted me to watch ALL

English: Opening logo to the Star Wars films

THREE movies.  After movie 1, I got my computer out and she was very upset with me.  I’ve been barely there for the past 4 days because of the cold and I was pretty eager to get started on the speech again.  I mean, I took this bloody week off of home schooling so I could do that very thing and of course, look what happens.  I get sick.

So when Meg told me in a very angry and hurt voice that I have not been spending any time with her I couldn’t get angry back because it was true.  Even though I’m with her all day when we home school, it is a different being together.  It is not something we are doing just for pleasure because we enjoy each other.  In fact, and I have to be honest here, it seems like we hardly ever do anything just for pleasure and to enjoy each other these days.  I mean, I only have one kid, how hard can it be, right?

I felt her sadness today and I was so sorry for it.  She is taking a back seat to my other things so that means I’m driving the wrong car.  Ok, I read to her every night before bed, I try and play chess with her a few times a week but I know that my attitude has been hurried.  Come on, let’s get it done, mum’s got work to do.  She hears  and the actions say “work that is more important than you”.

I need to think about the message I’m sending Meaghan and the message I want to send in my speech and make sure I’m not being a damned hypocrite.

I watched 3 Star Wars movies today.