I just can’t let this blog float around in cyberspace with no one to care for it.  I feel like I’m orphaning a child for crying out loud.  The original goal to document my journey to the World Championships is obviously not what’s going to happen but this blog is called A YEAR in the Life of a Toastmaster, not Nine Months in the Life of a Toastmaster.  And we have already established that the goal is not the goal.  So, I feel like I need to finish the year because that’s what I promised.  But, what is my focus now, Toastmasters or what Toastmasters has been leading to?

Well part of what Toastmasters has led to so far is more personal development.

My life coaching continues, though we are very close to finished.  Just two weeks to go.  I can’t rave enough about what I have learned and experienced through Micaela Pennell so far.  It has been an extraordinarily helpful journey and I am so grateful to God for bringing her into my life.  She has given me tools to continue tackling things that need tackling and I honestly feel like I am a very different person from 100 days ago.  My perspective is different, my attitude is different, my understanding is different.  I also have an amazing friend out of it.  If you have issues, and who doesn’t, and you are serious- I mean SERIOUS about tackling them, she’s your girl.

 

I’ve come to the realization that I have not been taking care of myself because I have been so busy trying to take care of everyone else.  Hoping that if I keep giving and giving and giving that my needs will eventually be met.

And because of that, because I am continually disappointed when people turn out to be like themselves instead of who I WISH they were and because I am soooooo bloody depleted and tired from doing everything, I have been very angry.   I have been allowing situations that TAKE from me, rather than situations that are enhancing my life.  My family has suffered.  I have suffered and even the people that I’ve been trying to take care of have suffered because they haven’t been given the chance to do things on their own.

The sorry truth is that I have not been meeting my own needs in almost ANY capacity for my entire life!!!!  No wonder I’ve been so pissed!

So.

That ends today.

Life is too bloody short.

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