Today I feel good.  Yesterday, I did NOT feel good at all.

Yesterday I drilled my speech about 10 times, recorded it 3 times.  Then I watched it for the first time and almost threw up my dinner.

Is this the cutest little guy to ever throw up or what?

Is this the cutest little guy to ever throw up or what?

Blech.  I HATED it.  Yes I did.  I couldn’t stand pretty much 2/3 of it and the other third was breathtakingly mediocre.  How incredibly disappointing.

It wasn’t how I pictured it while I was writing it.  It wasn’t as FUN!!!!!!  I was having FUN when I was writing the damned thing!   And for those of you who have been following along since the beginning, what was the golden rule?  IF YOU’RE NOT HAVING FUN, WHAT’S THE POINT????  

Well, I wasn’t having FUN because I was trying EVER so hard to be earnest and deep and relevant instead of being MYSELF and delivering a speech I love.  BLECH.  DisGUSting.  Boring.  Yuck.

So enter the coach.  God, I love having a coach!  God I love having Rich Freakin Hopkins as my coach.  Thank you God.  Not sure I thanked YOU yet.  lol

Anyway.  We watched the video over the phone together.  He says “We’re going to watch this and when I see something that we need to look at, I’ll say “Stop.”.

“Ok.”

Three words into it: ‘Stop!”

I laughed my ASS off.  “I KNEW you were going to say that!”

It is so awesome when someone GETS you.  It is so liberating when they help you be YOU.

Did I mention I love having Rich Freakin Hopkins as my coach?

We plowed through it and made a whole bunch of adjustments.  Most importantly, he gave me the confidence, the OK to be MYSELF.   I just can’t articulate how much better I feel about the ENTIRE thing now.  Thank GOD I can have fun.

Rich has helped give me what Cathie Roy gave me the night I gave my Icebreaker when she told me, a person who wasn’t sure she had much to contribute to a room full of professionals, that I belonged where I was.  He’s giving me what Jamie MacDonald gave me when he told me he thought I could go to the Worlds.  It’s irreplacable.  It’s golden.  Confidence in myself and my abilities.  Confidence to be exactly who I am.

Did I mention I love having Rich Freakin Hopkins as my coach?

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The Big Speech is written.  For now.  I have 8 days till the club contest.  I know we will be making more adjustments as we see what it looks like on video.  Starting tomorrow that’s the next step.

Finding a rythym, moving on purpose, remembering what you were trying to SAY when you wrote the words, remembering how you  FELT when the story actually happened.  Conveying that.  Trying to just BE in that moment and give this gift to the audience in the most genuine way possible.  When it happens that way, it is magical.  It’s like a beautiful dance where everyone knows the steps.

BE-ing in that moment can be a challenge because re-living things over and over again while you rehearse can be exhausting.  And you don’t want to desensitize yourself to the truth so that you don’t feel it anymore.

This stage is where you see that some things weren’t as great as you might have thought they were on paper and that some things were better than you thought.  This is where it really starts to feel REAL.

God, I’m scared right now.  Excited, but scared.  I’m putting myself out there like I never have before.  And I’ve been doing THIS whole thing too.  I hope I don’t make a complete fool of myself.  But wait, that reminds me of an old post of mine- something about me being willing to make a fool of myself to reach for that goal of World Champion.  About being willing to be the Biggest Fool In The World, if I recall correctly.

https://ayearinthelifeofatoastmaster.com/2012/09/12/day-19-divine-providence-and-the-biggest-fool-in-the-world/

super foolWow, that seems like a hundred years ago.  How can I have changed and not changed as much as I have and haven’t in those short 6 months?

Today’s Scripture?  One that God loves to give me repeatedly:  He who exalts himself with be humbled and he who humbles himself will be exalted.    Well, I guess we’ll see what happens, eh?

This is exciting.  An idea showed up and then another knocked on the door and then they gelled and became “The End”.

It didn’t happen all at once.  A microscopic idea came this afternoon after we lost our power.  I muscled it into the speech’s end.  It made it slightly better which is better than not better at all.

I took a break and watched a bunch of the World Championship videos for inspiration.

I watched Lance Miller’s “the Ultimate Question”  and really relished his style.  Funny and charming,  confident but humble at the same time.  Great smile.  One of the best lines ever delivered in a World Championship speech:  “You know what’s wrong with me?  You know what’s wrong with you?  You know what’s wrong with the world?…………………………………………..WHO CARES??????    It takes no special talent to find things that are wrong with people!”  It took people a couple of seconds to CATCH that line but when they did, they LOVED it.  It was applauded.

I watched Ed Tate’s “One of Those Days”, maybe my favourite story ever told.  It’s not a ‘classic’ speech and I like that about it.  Told with such a style and wit, such a satisfying end, so much laughter.  Hilarious really!

I watched Darren LaCroix’s “Ouch!”  for, no kidding, maybe the 25th time.  An all around work of genius. with one BUT.  It is over time.  there was a glitch with his timing lights, unbeknownst to him at the time so he was not penalized and his speech was almost EIGHT magnificent minutes long.

I watched Craig Valentine’s “A Key To Fulfillment” and I found that I REALLY liked the FAST way he spoke.  I didn’t have any trouble understanding him and it added so much to his style.  I could identify with that as I really enjoy that kind of playing with words and speed.  I also forgot how funny he was.  He’s also got this “I’m pretty damned handsome, don’t you think?”  thing going on.  It’s hilarious.

I watched Brett Rutledge’s “My Little World” and HE just PACKED the laughs in man.  He was flippin’ hilarious.  He may have had the most laughs per word of any of them.  Brilliant craftsmanship and mimicry.

Anyway, I felt great after watching them all and then the power came back on so I was forced to feed my family.  lol

I played UNO with Meaghan after supper and when she went to the bathroom once, I totally stacked the deck and gave myself all wild cards and +4’s.  I gave her all yellow cards and one blue.  The game was over in 3 minutes.  LOL!  I of course, came clean but I did it to see if she would notice and suspect anything about the incredibly spectacular hand I had.  It’s nice to know she’s so innocent that it wouldn’t even occur to her.  Or that she WAS so innocent anyway.  ahem.

So, the family’s in bed, I’m up WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too late again but sheesh, what are you gonna do eh?  I can’t sleep anyway when ideas are all bouncing around in my head .  It’s SO hard to shut the brain off.

BUT!!!!    But that microscopic idea from this afternoon met a good idea from tonight and they MATED and produced EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR.  The END PUNCH was delivered by my deliverer 🙂 .

It tied in with the theme, it added a laugh AND a philosophical statement (that’s not too heavy) and it lifted the FEEL of the entire end.  It was getting too damned heavy.  After all , it IS the humorous speech contest isn’t it?

So I puzzled it all together, and I tried it all out loud and then I SQUEALED WITH JOY when I finished!  It fit!!  It fit!!!!!!  It FIT!!!!!!!    I danced and spun around the living room and scared the claws off my cats.

I practiced so much I’m losing my voice.  It’s time for bed and I’m pretty sure I’ll sleep tonight.  There might be nothing LEFT in my brain.  lol

I am SO excited.  I just want to remember how fun this is right now and never forget it.

Thanks for praying for me my friends.

Glory to God in the Highest!

Lands End Sunrise

Lands End Sunrise (Photo credit: Camerons Personal Page)

(What a roller coaster eh?  Welcome to my husband’s world!)